After the Jewish funeral ceremony is over, a procession to the cemetery will occur. If you plan on attending the graveside portion of the funeral, here are some customs you need to keep in mind:
- When you arrive at the cemetery, refrain from greeting the grieving family. They will take their seats, and the guests should stand behind them.
- The pall bearers carry the casket from the hearse to the gravesite. For some communities, the pall bearers momentarily stop seven times to say prayer. The main reason for this custom is to recognize that this is a challenging task and there is no rush to complete it.
- A rabbi or officiant will lead the group in a series of prayers including the Mourners Kaddish.
- After the casket is lowered into the grave, each of the attendees will take a turn and place a handful of dirt onto the casket. Sometimes soil from Israel is also placed on the casket.
- Once the graveside service has concluded, jon the other guests in forming two rows. In this way the guests create a sheltered walkway for the passage of the bereaved family. As the family walks by, say the traditional words of consolation, “Hamakom y'nachem etchem b'toch sh'ar availai tziyon ee yerushalayim”. You can also say these words in English if you feel like you may mispronounce them, “May the Almighty comfort you among all the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.” Do not approach the family; simply recite the words as they pass. However, if they approach you, it is acceptable to respond with a gentle hug and kind, comforting words.
- Under strict Jewish burial customs, women exit the gravesite first followed by men.